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-   -   I left DF. (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/146427-i-left-df.html)

Telucero February 4th, 2006 10:59 PM

Well, I did it. I left. I am not sure what I do now, pregnant and single. I know its 2006 and I should feel confident about making my decision to do what is best for me and my child. I went to look for an apartment today and felt discouraged when some of the managers were shocked when they asked why I needed a two bedroom. "And how many adults will be living here?" "Just one, me, I'm expecting in July" Response, double takes and blank stares. God, I know this totally my insecurity but Jesus, those of us who decide to go it alone are not evil.

Anyway the other part is that I had to leave after my fiance spent seven days out of fifteen wasted. Now he keeps asking me how long I'll be gone for and telling me how much he hurts. Uhg! I feel so dumb. I feel so duped by him. How do you know when a person has really made a commitment to change? Its so different for everyone.

Now, I am just pregnant and nervous...not so good for my baby.

Thanks for listening.

brigitte February 5th, 2006 01:29 PM

Best thing right now, is for you to keep being strong. If his drinking is making you unhappy and stressed out, then it's making the baby unhappy and stressed out too. Joys of sharing a body!!! I think what you did is very admirable. You stood up for yourself and the kind of life you want for your baby. How amazing of you!! You're going to be a great mommy!
As for your man, I wouldn't take him back until he proved to me that he was taking this seriously. He could do this by going to meetings for alcoholics, even if he isn't one or doesn't believe he's one. Just seeing all those hard core alcoholics who have lost their jobs, homes and families to booze may open his eyes. He may just say to himself "oh god, this is where my life's heading with the way that I drink! I have to stop now before I get like these guys!"
I know everything will work out for you, whether you two are together or not. Because it shows that you're willing to do what it takes to make sure your baby has a good life in a healthy environment. Good for you!
Take care and keep us posted. And as you know, we're always here if you need anything!

Erica McGuire February 5th, 2006 04:27 PM

My babys father was no good for me and the baby either. :( He begged and always told me that me and the baby was everything to him. He never would change, So I left him. And I beleive that it was the best decision I will ever make for me and my baby. Yea it is stressful and hard. I haven't spoke to him in 5 months, now I am 7 months. I have heard he has gotten into worse things, I couldn't even imagin if I had stayed with him. And as time goes by and the closer you are to meeting your baby, those things won't even matter anymore. Remember you have to stay strong and try to stop stressing. You can do this!!! I really hope this helps. :smile:

pcgirl February 6th, 2006 08:24 AM

Good luck to you and your baby. I have been there and I know what it's like to be single with little babies on your hip. Just keep in mind that you are a lot stronger than you think....and you have already proven yourself to be strong just by leaving a bad situation.

I know you don't want to think about this, but try to get your BF some help. Even if you have left him, he is still going to be a part of your (and his) baby's life (hopefully - I can't stand dead beat dads). You don't have to get back together with him, but you do want him and the baby to have a heathly relationship. (I know, when my ex-dh left me for another woman, I swore that he wasn't going to be a part of my both my daughters life - I was hurt, young, and dumb - my children have suffered because of it - a mistake I hope to never do again).

Don't worry about the other idiots out there - and there are plenty of them. They have no right to judge you so just let it roll off your shoulders (a hard thing to do, I know). Be proud of the decision you made....it obviously was a good one.

Good luck and keep us posted. I'll be thinking and praying for you.

Telucero February 6th, 2006 10:21 PM

Thank you Ladies for taking the time to listen and respond, I just needed to hear that I am doing the right thing and that its not just the hormones, I am sooooo entirely sick of hearing that one.

All of you are so great, thank you for being supportive.

I'm going to remember that I am stronger than I think from now on...

Kristy Barth February 7th, 2006 12:51 AM

You are a WOMAN, of course you are strong. I think your incredibly strong for being able to make this decision while you are pregnant--many of woman would have stayed. I don't know your story, but I'm sure this doesn't have to be permanent. Maybe he will change, maybe not or maybe your are just done.

I would focus on your health and the health of the baby for now and let everything else fall where it may. Good luck to you!!! And as strong as you are, your right you are probably even stronger!!!

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