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nicole0584 June 24th, 2011 10:34 AM

Deciding to keep a baby
I am 26 and I think I am pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. I believe that I am 3 weeks pregnant, I haven't missed my period yet, but I have all the symptoms of being pregnant. My boyfriend lives on the other side of the world (literally) and I believe I got pregnant after visiting him. Before I started believing I was pregnant, a week ago, me and my boyfriend had a great relationship, mainly an open relationship, for over 5 years. It was love at first sight, and I have never felt that way for anyone else before or since then. At first he laughed it off, saying I was crazy, but then he started telling me to "get rid of it," and "it's nothing." He hasn't been supportive of my emotional needs at all, and I am so confused about his feelings towards me now. Before this happened, he had asked me to move there, and I was planning to within a year or so on a professional visa. We are both at a rough point in our lives, he recently began his own business, and he is stressed financially and working 16 hour days. I am still in grad school, in debt, and not financially ready for a baby. In order for me to have this baby, I may need to put grad school on hold, forever, and rely on my parents for support for awhile. I haven't told them yet, but I think they will want me to get an abortion as well. As much as I want to be a family, I don't think that is what my boyfriend wants right now, and I don't want him to resent me for deciding to keep it, and then having him feel forced into it. I feel like everyone in my life wants me or will want me to get an abortion, including my friends. I feel that I will need a lot of support from my boyfriend and parents in order to have this baby, and if they aren't willing, then I don't know if I can do it on my own. When I think about having an abortion it makes me sick, I feel it would be a terrible mistake. When I think about having my baby, holding him for the first time, I feel calm and like it will all be worth it for just that one moment. I think I will be a really loving, good mom, but I can't do it all alone. I just don't know what to do. =(

Love My Joey June 24th, 2011 02:39 PM

Re: Deciding to keep a baby
Unplanned pregnancy can be a scary thing but I honestly wouldn't start stressing about it until you get a positive pregnancy test. You are VERY early and there are alot of things than cause you to feel "pregnancy symptoms". If I read it correctly, you already told your boyfriend you are pregnant? I would probably just take a test when you can so you can know for sure before you tell everyone you are pregnant and start stressing about things. But if you are pregnant, things will work out and once your family and boyfriend get over the initial shock...I'm sure they will come around. Alot of guys respond to pregnancy news by trying to push the abortion thing but it is probably just because he is scared. But like I said, I would just wait until you know you are pregnant before worrying about everything. When I was 3 weeks pregnant I had no idea I was pregnant but I know I didn't have any "symptoms" yet that stood out to me but that might have just been me. Good Luck, I hope it all works out for you :)

.:Kati:. July 21st, 2011 07:42 PM

Re: Deciding to keep a baby
My baby is unplanned as well however me and the bf of 5 years have talked about having kids just never planned on anything just happened i think those are the real blessing's when you don't even try to get pregnant and it just happens! I'm sure you will make the right choice,Goodluck!

american-leanings July 22nd, 2011 07:36 AM

Re: Deciding to keep a baby
Sorry to hear how unsure you are, and how unsupportive you feel your loved ones will be over this matter. The truth of the thing is that you shouldn't feel compelled to do what everyone wants. You should do what's best for YOU, what makes YOU feel the best. If you don't feel that an abortion is for you, then don't do it. In the end, it's your body, your baby, and your life. All these other people in your life aren't the ones that will have to live with your decision. In the end, it'll all be you.

I wish you luck and I hope you work things out the best way you can! :hug:

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