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-   -   Stuck between a rock and a hard place (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2641920-stuck-between-rock-and-hard-place.html)

Johannadaisy April 9th, 2013 12:51 PM

Stuck between a rock and a hard place
I was taking birth control pills consistently for a year but with my lucky, I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to confirm my pregnancy but there are a few problems.

First, I'm only 21. I am finishing up my last term in college this June. Luckily, graduating won't be an issue however I had plans to start graduate school in the fall.

Second, my super supportive boyfriend is on the fence about what we should do. We've been together for almost 3 years and although he thinks we could make it work, we aren't sure if now is a good time to have a baby.

But the biggest issue for me is how to tell my parents. During the spring of my senior year of high school I found out I was pregnant and even though we wanted to keep the baby, my parents insisted on an abortion. I caved and still slightly regret it even though I think it was the right choice ultimately. Now, how am I supposed to tell that that during the spring of my senior year in undergrad, I got pregnant?

Any thoughts on any of the above?

BaileysFourtune April 9th, 2013 02:17 PM

Re: Stuck between a rock and a hard place
This is never easy I was in the same spot as you only a few months ago I am 21 and in college only a year and a half to go honestly it wont be easy but if you want to make it work you will I would recommend talking to your school about options for coming back

and for me telling my mom was the best thing i ever did she was with me every step of the way from finding out and was my rock when i needed her unfourtantly i had a misscarriage a few months later

i wish you the best and here if you want someone to talk to

MommyofAngels1985 April 9th, 2013 02:26 PM

Re: Stuck between a rock and a hard place
Well it's not like getting pregnant in High school. I don't know if your parents will react the same way but I would say you are more prepared to have a baby then you might of been a few years ago. Plus seeing how you still have regrets about your first abortion, having another one would probably make things even worse. So if you have any doubts in your mind on whether to have another abortion then that might not be the right choice to make. Babies are a blessing and people in more difficult situations have made it work. Like you said you have a very supportive man in your life so you won't be raising the baby on your own and that's something a lot of women don't have who have decided to keep their babies. Just don't let your parents make this decision for you, it is your child and it will be you who will have to live with whatever choice you make for the rest of your life. If you chose to keep the baby Just Mommies is a great place to meet and talk to ladies through out your pregnancy who are in the same or similar boat as you are. Even after the baby is born there are boards you can join that you can talk about anything you want with us to get helpful advice or just to share stories. For examples : Moms of infants, Moms of toddlers and so on. Best of luck in whatever you choose :smile:

Johannadaisy April 10th, 2013 10:36 AM

Re: Stuck between a rock and a hard place
I have to say after Googling for hours to find any helpful advice on this, your two responses have been the only thing keeping me sane. I'm sorry to hear about your loss Bailey but thank toy both for your words of encouragement. Unfortunately I'm stuck in limbo another day because bad weather has pushed my appointment back to tomorrow morning. *ugh*

mamatomany April 10th, 2013 10:27 PM

Re: Stuck between a rock and a hard place
I agree that there's no 'perfect time' to have a baby-- I got pregnant with my daughter just before my husband and I were leaving to go overseas where I had a scholarship for a year. W went anyway, and when we came back he started grad school. We were crazy poor, but somehow we managed to get by and we're so happy and thankful we had our daughter when we did. We've never looked back, even though we were sure at the time that we wanted to wait a number of years before having kids.

I think it won't be a big deal for you to go to grad school as planned. I know frequently universities have great, affordable daycare centers on campus for students with kids, and I'm sure yours does too. You and your bf can work to coordinate schedules when possible. You can also take advantage of assistance programs and I'm sure you'll make it through fine -- it will be hard work, but isn't all of life :)?

Anyway, I know for sure that when you first feel that first flutter of movement of your little son or daughter it will rock your world and there is no way you're going to regret it. Best wishes and let us know what you find out tomorrow!

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