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Kaliya11 April 9th, 2013 06:34 PM

Unplanned pregnancy advice
I am 22 and finishing my last semester at a great college on the east coast, and I'm currently 11 weeks pregnant. I am living with the father of the baby, but he still has another year of school ahead of him. Currently, I am looking for employment but don't have a job, and my family lives on the west coast. No one knows about the pregnancy but the two of us, and I am terrified to tell anyone because of the way they will react. We also are still discussing the possibility of abortion but I'm not sure i could go through with it. So basically, im very worried about finding and keeping a job if i continue with the pregnancy, and the issue of possibly having to move back with my parents and leave my boyfriend. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Loving6 April 9th, 2013 07:59 PM

Re: Unplanned pregnancy advice
Maybe you could get assistance from the state and medical coverage. It's there to help you out then eventually you two can support yourselves once you and your boyfriend have graduated and have steady jobs. Go to your local health department and they can get you started with medical assistance to pay for the pregnancy and delivery. I had to be on it with my first. My husband and I got married when I was 6 months pregnant and I wasn't on his insurance until we go married. I was very grateful for the help. Don't be ashamed to get help,it there for times like this.

Johannadaisy April 10th, 2013 11:39 AM

Re: Unplanned pregnancy advice
Well first, congrats on finishing up school. I'm counting down the weeks (8) until graduation! :)

Having half-heartedly gone through an abortion myself, I can't recommend it for anyone. Personally, I felt so much remorse, guilt, anger and sadness that it changed who am I and ultimately was the demise of that relationship with the father. I would say you might want to talk to a few people who have made both decisions and then think long and hard about what feels right for YOU!

As for the job, I agree with Loving. I don't know if there is any assistance you might be able to get but you might be able to find something out that would be helpful. I don't know how viable this is, but you might be able to find a job that would allow you to work from home some/part/most of the time.

Final thought: Don't do anything you don't want or aren't ready to do (that includes moving away from your boyfriend)

Good luck!

DeletedUser12345 April 10th, 2013 03:36 PM

Re: Unplanned pregnancy advice
Im a very proud person.. but life has definitely thrown curveballs this last year.. I will be 24 weeks pregnant on Friday.. I had just gone through a divorce (at 24 years old!!) and I moved across country and just got a seasonal job with no insurance to carry me through and pay my student loans and then found out I was pregnant. I lost the job and the state help is the only thing keeping me on my feet.. I get a small amount of cash assistance (enough to buy stuff for the baby), some food (enough if I plan very sparingly), and medical. I also plan to go sign up for WIC this week, too as that is good for pregnant women as well. If you want this baby, definitely look into that. It will allow you to breathe again! It wont be easy but it will certainly help.. Plus, they won't expect you to work during your first trimester or right after the baby is born to give the assistance and then will help you find a decent job (not easy at all even with a degree- I graduated 2 years ago)... sooo, now the baby will be born within days of my 25th birthday and I am feeling like even though I am single, this assistance and baby has my life in a good place to have the baby, stay home right after, and then get help finding a good permanent job after.. For me, this baby has actually given me better opportunities at life.. although I do have to admit I cried the first day I found out.

eshute April 10th, 2013 07:32 PM

Re: Unplanned pregnancy advice
I agree with the other ladies. I recently moved to be closer to family (the baby's father came with me as it was only an hour away and he was unemployed anyway). I left a job that had great pay and benefits because we thought it'd be easier to have my mom for child care than try to pay daycare. He's been able to get 3 jobs, but I've been able to get nothing because I'm 32 weeks pregnant not. While he's working very hard, it would never be enough to pay for all the medical stuff. I recently was approved for medical assistance and am so grateful! By all means look up your state's assistance website and get started with that. Also, keep looking for jobs. Being 11 weeks pregnant shouldn't hinder too many options. Good luck with everything!!

mamatomany April 10th, 2013 10:32 PM

Re: Unplanned pregnancy advice
I also wanted to add that no potential employer can even ask if you're pregnant, let alone not hire you for that reason. You do not need to mention it in an interview. The pregnancy should not make it harder for you to get a job. Plus, if you can find one now you may qualify for maternity leave when the baby is born. Also, Your sweet baby is the child of you and your boyfriend. You are both adults. Don't let family pressure you to do something like move back home unless you believe it's a good plan and want to do it.

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