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ts1 April 30th, 2013 01:38 PM

an emotional wreck
Sorry this may be long, but I am so confused and I have no idea where to start looking for help first. I've been an emotional disaster for days now. I am 31 and I found out last week that I was pregnant, and got the official confirmation today. My BF of 2+ years keeps telling me that were in no position to have a baby, somewhere I know hes right given all aspects of life. Financially, I'm convinced that you cant ever really afford a baby. I'm in a job where I am always traveling, and I dont know if I am quite ready to give that up.
However, when I sit and think about it, I don't know if I could bring myself to have an abortion. When I think about it I cry, when I think about having a baby, I cry. I can't stop crying. I can't figure out whats right, and whats wrong. I am an emotional basketcase with absolutely no idea what to do.

mamatomany April 30th, 2013 03:05 PM

Re: an emotional wreck
Crying is okay! Even when it's not a surprise, pregnancy is an emotional thing :). I agree that there's no good time financially to have a baby, and I also don't think you should worry much about your job. You have nine months to either setup a support network of either trusted relatives or friends or a sitter if you decide you want to continue travelling for your job. People all over the world have children and demanding jobs, so you're not alone and there are ways to make it work smoothly.

On a biological level, you are at a great time to have a baby. At 31 you're still young enough to be considered low risk, and you'll bounce back quickly from pregnancy.

Most importantly, don't let your boyfriend or anyone else pressure you into an abortion. It's a decision you can never take back. If you are unsure, don't even consider an abortion.

Motherhood is a big deal, so it's no wonder you're feeling emotional. It's a decision you'll never regret, it's a journey that's not always easy but so filled with joy that you can't even begin to imagine until you feel those first flutters of movement and then finally hold that tiny son or daughter in your arms. Be encouraged! There are many women on Justmommies in your situation. Join a due date club and meet some women due the same time you are. It can help make it all more real, much less scary, and much more exciting.

Best wishes and keep us posted!

MerinSun April 30th, 2013 07:47 PM

Re: an emotional wreck
I agree with all the points the PP has made :) Many people believe that they need to wait for a perfect time to have a baby but the reality is that while you may succeed in conceiving at "the perfect time" life rarely lets you keep onto "perfect" for long. You'll have that kid underneath your roof for 18 years and in the meantime you could lose your job, rack up too much credit car debt, or your car will have a melt down in your driveway. Life is full of ups and downs, positives and negatives, opportune and inopportune moments. But the great thing is that you'll handle it one way or another.

eshute May 2nd, 2013 04:38 PM

Re: an emotional wreck
I believe if you think that you might regret it, then abortion is not the best option. Shortly after I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant, he told me I should get an abortion. He said that we weren't ready and he wasn't ready and we weren't in any position to have a baby. I wouldn't do it. I stood my ground. We broke up, but remained friends. Eventually he calmed down and we started working it out. Today we're happily back together and will be having our baby girl in a few short weeks. We're not remotely ready financially, but I know we'll make it work. I'm so happy I didn't get an abortion because I know I would have regretted it and it's not something I could live with.

You have to do what is right for you. If you believe you're going to regret getting an abortion, don't do it. You can't take it back and a lifetime is a long, long time to wonder.

Good luck and I wish you the best!

PhoebeJohnson035 June 5th, 2013 06:39 AM

Re: an emotional wreck
When its going to happen its going to happen and nothing can stop it from happening except God. :)

SallyS June 5th, 2013 12:18 PM

Re: an emotional wreck
A lot of people go through this situation. You should talk to someone who was in the same situation and that can help you walk though it.

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