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H22 June 10th, 2013 05:14 PM

Total regret after abortion

I recently posted about how I (19) found out I was pregnant whilst abroad travelling and was unsure what to do. I then decided I was going to keep the baby, my mum and dad said they'd support me in whatever I decide but when I told them I wanted to keep it they were really off with me and I could tell they resented me a bit. I couldn't deal with this so I booked in for an abortion a day later and my mums mood instantly changed and she was supportive because its what she wanted. I went through with the medical abortion last Wednesday and I'm finding it really hard to deal with the grief and regret. I just wish I hadn't done it and I just wish I could have my baby back where it was safe. I feel so guilty and selfish I have no one too talk to because my mum just says oh it's the right decision you'll be fine and maybe she's right but at the moment I'm not fine, I don't feel like me, I don't know what to do.

JaeSung June 10th, 2013 07:26 PM

Re: Total regret after abortion
I know exactly how you feel. My guy didn't want me to keep the baby at all. This was around a year ago. I did what he wanted. I regretted it. For quite a while I wished I could change what I did. I'm sorry you're going through this.

mamatomany June 10th, 2013 11:04 PM

Re: Total regret after abortion
I'm so sorry :(. I would like to suggest that you go to counseling so you can deal with your grief. I would love to help you find someone who could be supportive in a tangible way and help you work through this if you'd like to send me a private message.

On a more practical level, be sure to reassess your chosen method of contraception and decide if you need to change it so that you don't go through this again.

I've been praying for you, and will continue to do so. May you find peace and truth during this difficult time.

DeletedUser12345 June 12th, 2013 10:59 PM

Re: Total regret after abortion
I am soo so sorry about your regret. I also agree that if it is too much for you to handle on your own, it might help to reach out and get some counseling. Some people can get past the grief easily.. for others it takes much longer. Also, now that she knows the decision you made, your mom is just going to try to make you feel better about what cannot be undone. So, I hope you don't fault her for not being there to talk to about how you feel now. It is a very sensitive subject to deal with and since she said she was supportive either way.. That could be just what she is trying to do even though it isnt as comforting.

Life will go on one day at a time. Eventually, you will have your time for a baby again. Hopefully you will be in a better situation and not have to face this decision again.

summer70 June 16th, 2013 10:26 AM

Re: Total regret after abortion
So sorry!! I have been there, done that. I have become very prolife, because I have experienced first hand, and have seen others go through what i have been through, how the abortions hurt the mommies who have the abortions. And usually, it is others who push us in to it, or at least try to convince us it is OK. And then we are the ones with empty arms and empty tummies.

I wish I could help more. I have never been able to resolve this for myself and it has been years. Until this moment, I never have talked about it. I am crying even typing about it. It has been very hard. I wish we all could go back in time and get our babies back! And I wish that people would shut up and stop telling women that they will never regret it, because we usually do. And it hurts beyond any level of grief that anyone ever could have. It hurts more than losing a parent to cancer. It hurts more than anything ever.


Some crisis pregnancy centers have post abortion counseling. I have never gone, I have just seen it advertised.

mummytobe18 June 17th, 2013 05:36 PM

Re: Total regret after abortion
heya im 18 and am 10 weeks pregnant my mother keeps telling me that iam having an abortion otherwise i have to get outta the house and im in a realyionship with someone and its not his and ive been with him two years and no i didnt cheat we were broken up for a month and a one night stand got me knocked up. but regardless of all this stress im under i dont think an abortion is right for me im sorry if this puts you down i guess you made the right desision for you and its not anyone elses choice but i do think you need some councelling.

MommyofAngels1985 June 21st, 2013 08:30 PM

Re: Total regret after abortion
So you wanted to keep the baby bc you knew that was the right choice for you but your mom made you feel so bad about your decision you went ahead with the abortion for your baby? I agree with the others that you should find someone to talk to and I'm very sorry for what you're going through :(. I hope you start to feel better with time but in the meantime I'll send prayers your way.

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