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mariisz December 28th, 2013 09:38 AM

Pregnant, in college, confused
Hi everyone. I am new to this board and am extremely torn about what to do. I found out I was pregnant yesterday. I am in college and I am planning to go to medical school in about 2 years after I finish my Bachelor's. I am 22 and my boyfriend is 31. He already has a child who is 10 years old. When I told him the news he told me it was my choice. He's always been very supportive and proud of how driven I am in school and what I am striving to do. He cried and said "I see you hitting all your goals, all these marks you've planned, and I can't help but think if we have the baby you will be putting a stop to it all, you deserve to reach your goals, but I will be there for you either way"

My brother is 32 and his wife is 5 months pregnant. He too is very focused on me reaching my goals. Everyone is. I am the "pride and joy" of the family and I feel so irresponsible and guilty for being so careless. I know that if I keep the baby my life will change forever, but if I don't I don't think I would be able to forgive myself for it and I know it will push me away from my partner.

I've never been so confused in my life. I don't know if I will be capable of having a baby and reaching my goal of going to med school. I would have to move in with my boyfriend and start a new life... which I am not ready for. I am sorry for this long post. I just needed to know if anyone had ever had the same doubts.

Rainbow Momma December 28th, 2013 10:32 AM

Re: Pregnant, in college, confused
Your life will change after you have a baby but that doesnt mean you have to give up on your dreams. Especially if you have a great support system, which it def does sound like you do, then its going to be that much easier to still reach your goals. Your family may be shocked at first but they would probably come around.

Every single person has always had doubts about the decisions they are making, even more so when we have another life we are responsible for, you are def note alone. We are here for you!

jes81878 December 28th, 2013 11:14 AM

Re: Pregnant, in college, confused
A baby would change your life, but he/she will not keep you from reaching your goals. People have obstacles and bumps in life, and we learn to adapt. I have a friend who is a mother to 3 kids decided to go to med school when her youngest started school. It was stressful for her (all 3 kids were involved in sports too), but she found a way to make time for her kids and her goals. Good luck with your decisions.

mamatomany December 28th, 2013 11:19 AM

Re: Pregnant, in college, confused
You are right, your life will change forever -- but that doesn't mean it will change for the worse! Having a baby in no way means you have to give up on your goals and having a relative who went through med school it's actually soooo much better to have your baby now then later. Having a baby now means that when you start med school your little son or daughter will be well past the infant stage and it will be much easier to go through the rigors of school. Universities and professors are very willing to be flexible and accommodating to pregnant and new mothers, and I have at least one friend who finished a demanding degree in music, delivered her baby in April, and graduated in May. Motherhood will bring great focus and even more maturity.

You have a great support network, and though they may be initially a little disappointed, once you've shown your commitment both to motherhood and to your calling as a doctor, they'll see your strength and welcome this little one with open arms!

Don't stress! The incredible joy you will find in mothering this little baby will be a delight and encouragement to you as you continue to work through your schooling. You've got this!

MerinSun December 28th, 2013 09:11 PM

Re: Pregnant, in college, confused
Lots of parents become doctors :) My primary physician's office is a residency office, the last step before pushing all the baby doctors out of the nest and into the wild on their own. Many, if not most, of them have kids.

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