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-   -   Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!! (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2703595-pregnant-baby-number-4-4month-old-baby.html)

Scared mummy January 16th, 2014 03:10 AM

Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
Not sure where to start really. We decided to have baby number 3 and he came along in sept 2013. Compared to the 1st two children (now 6 and 3) he has been really difficult to understand I suppose! I felt like a breezes through the 1st two, I knew what they wanted and I was able to understand their needs and wants. Number 3 (now 4months) has had silent reflux and has medication for this, although I don't see a huge difference in him. He screams a lot of the time and refuses the dummy. And to add to the stress of it all I've found out I'm pregnant with number 4. To be honest I am petrified of how I'm going to cope with four especially if things don't improve with my so. Or I have another baby like him. The past couple of weeks I haven't wanted to go out, I'm frightened to tell friends and family (although both mine and hubby's parents know) about the pregnancy. On the sch run I feel like I'm putting on a face that everything's ok. My husband knows how I feel but I do t think he really understands how scared I am that I am suffering with Pnd. I suppose that's the 1st time I've admitted that 2 anyone other than him. I love him so much and I appreciate everything he does for us, I feel like I'm being selfish for a few reasons I suppose, I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mum but I am miserable for it and having number 4 will now mean no return 2 any kind of work for a long time. But also I have a husband that loves me and I'm pushing him away. And also I am down about being pregnant but yet I should be happy and privalidged some people r unable to have a baby at all and I am going to be blessed with 4. I am so scared....please help!!!!!

Sarah7181 January 16th, 2014 08:36 AM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
Well, lets see... first off I think all your feelings are pretty normal. I think most of it is because your baby is high needs. I also have 4. My first 2 are 15 mos apart, then a 3 yr gap, and then 3 and 4 are also 15 months apart. No, I didnt plan that but I love it now! ! My second baby was like yours. He cried constantly, and threw up on me all the time. It was sooo hard on ke because my first was this easiest baby ever. I stupidly thought she was so easy because of my awsome parenting skills. Lmao! God put me in my place. ;) out of all 4 tho, only 1 was like that. Most likely the new baby won'tbe so rrough. Also, he was much better by the time he was able to sit up ajd move around more. I tjink you will find that helps your little one too. By the time the new baby comes, your little one wl probably have outgrown this part. Also, I found the jump from 3 to 4 to be no big deal. I think anything after 3 is just more slong for the ride. That was my personal experience. I am also a sahm. Try to remember that your baby will be a little older when the new one comes along, but not so old as to run off all the time! A huge bonus in my book. Just try to feel your feelings as they come and keep that communication open with your hubby. That is so important. He can't know what your feeling if your don't tell him, and also, for me, I've found that talking things thru really helps make the insurmountable not seem so big. I remember vividly being terrified when I found out I was expecting number 4, and caroline was 6 months old. I was so scared I was going to fall flat on my face, there was no way I could handle this. Now, she just turned 3 two days ago, owen is 20 months old, and I've got this! These newborn issues will be a thing of the past when the new baby comes. I hope I helpedsome!! Hugs!

Excuse my typos, I am writing from my phone. I promise, I know how to spell. Lol

Scared mummy January 16th, 2014 01:19 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
Thankyou so much for replying. It's good to know I'm not alone in being so scared about number 4. Fingers crossed my son improves soon, he is showing early signs of trying to crawl so hopefully won't be long and he can follow me around! I like your comment 'god put me in my place' up until now I must have thought I was an amazon parent and it was easy! My mum has always said 'they only send us what we can cope with' so I just need 2 do it' thanku :-)

MerinSun January 16th, 2014 07:39 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
My first son was definitely high strung and high needs. He was always SCREAMING. I remember getting a sinking feeling in my stomach when he would wake up because I knew he'd start screaming at any time. As he got older and was able to occupy himself more that eased. Especially once he began to crawl and pull himself up. Then he calmed way down. Even now when he is super cranky and mean spirited if I just chase him around the house or toss him outside to run himself silly he calms down. If he wasn't able to concentrate on things so well and have a small sense of organization (he's 2 1/2) I'd begin to wonder about him needing evaluation when he got older, lol.

Because you have a young infant already and because the first trimester is a real kicker, I would start to train your two older children on how to do basic things for themselves. Your oldest should be able to dress themselves and help the 3 year old (lay out the clothing). You can also store cereal and things low down so they can make their own breakfasts. "Pack" lunches the night before so all they need to do is pull them out of the fridge. It sounds really hands off but you never know WHEN you're going to have to crash and sleep or when you'll be puking or taking care of the infant.

Once you've gotten used to the idea of having another new LO around start talking to family and friends and stress that you need some relief. Be specific. I really wish I was a lot more specific with my family about what i needed when my second son was born and we struggled hardcore with feeding issues. The result was bare minimum support. Days without sleep, house literally a disaster and possibly a safety hazard, and a toddler who was given a tablet for hours on end. Things improved when my youngest finally got his NG tube.

And remember, you are definitely not alone in this. I was at my doctor's office last week and we were talking about my negative pregnancy test (I had blood work done for unrelated reasons). We talked about fast turn arounds in pregnancy and she said she's seen women come in for their PP check-up at 6 weeks and already be pregnant. It happens.

Scared mummy January 17th, 2014 03:12 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
Thankyou for the tips for older 2...my husband always says I do too much for them!! Gonna really give your ideas a go! :-)

MrsLat January 17th, 2014 09:42 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
I just want to say that I relate. I am pregnant with #4. My children are 5, 3 and 7 months. Needless to say, like you I am pretty terrified about the timing...

Hang in there. :hanginthere:

jumpingoffplace January 19th, 2014 08:33 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
I don't have four children... Pregnant with #3, but my first 2 were 14 months apart to the DAY. My daughter had colic (she's the oldest) and just as she was starting to get over it and I was learning what sleep meant again I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was terrified of having two so close together! Honestly, the first few weeks were the hardest- and that was because I couldn't "sleep when the baby sleeps" because I had a toddler that wasn't sleeping. LOL Once we got past that, it's been wonderful. They learn from each other and share toys without arguments. (Most of the time) You'll be ok Mama. I know it's scary now, but once you get into a new routine with the new baby included it won't be so daunting. I promise. ((hugs))

2bigboys January 23rd, 2014 07:36 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
I'm pregnant with our surprise baby number three. The first two are 9and 5. Both had severe reflux issues. I can say that by the time number four arrives the reflux should be much better. Good luck!

childtocherish January 25th, 2014 04:29 AM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
If you can handle and take care of the children then no problem .You definitely need a full time worker to help you. Its good that children will grow up together and you can also work.

fancypants27 January 26th, 2014 09:08 PM

Re: Pregnant with baby number 4 with a 4month old baby!!!!!!!!!
Things will fall into place. Invest in a good baby carrier or wrap. Routine and organizing will be your keys to success.

I have 3. #1 and 2 are 16 mths apart and 2 and 3 are 10 mths apart. (Also born in sept 2013). #3 has reflux and sensitive tummy. She doesnt sleep more than 3 hrs at a time. Things havent been easy, but they are getting better and easier. Have you tried prevacid for the reflux? My youngest is on prevacid and can only drin k alimentum formula...otherwise its 24-7 screaming.

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