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-   -   Got ultrasound, 15 weeks, so excited!! But what will the family say? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2704742-got-ultrasound-15-weeks-so-excited-but-what-will-family-say.html)

kkelley1226 January 23rd, 2014 04:46 AM

Got ultrasound, 15 weeks, so excited!! But what will the family say?
We are happily engaged, about to move into a new rental home this coming weekend (from a tiny apartment that was barely big enough for myself!), and I'm about to graduate from college and finally be done with school for a while! We weren't sure if this pregnancy was really happening, and we finally were able to get in for an ultrasound and VIOLA - 15 weeks along, a very active baby moving around in there. I was in absolute awe, and we are both so, so excited to be expecting our first child!

His side of the family was thrilled when we got engaged, and they will be overjoyed to find out that they'll have a second grandchild on the way. They have been nothing but supportive to us. For now, we're concerned about the reactions that we'll get from my side of the family. When we announced our engagement, we got a happy reaction from my grandmother after a stunned silence, and that was the very best reaction we got - far better in comparison to the rest. Mom still calls Jeramy my boyfriend... she won't acknowledge the reality of it, and we got very few congratulations from anyone in the family.

So I'm less than thrilled to be telling my family that we're expecting - when we announced the engagement, it was the end of the world. I am held to extraordinary standards by my family; I was to go to graduate school, work in some superior workforce, and earn a ton of money before I even think about marrying. That's just not me, and that's just not how my life has worked out, and they can't seem to put away their own images of what my life should look like and be proud of what they see before them! I am 22, about to graduate from the University of Mount Union with a degree in Psychology, minors in Sociology and Gender Studies. I had planned to take a year off from school, as the last year has been a bundle of anxiety attacks and extreme stress and I just need a break! But I'd decided that no matter what happens an online degree for graduate school is the best place to start - I'm switching gears and planning on studying comparative religion and world cultures. We hadn't planned to have a child so early (if at all!), hell I hadn't planned to meet the love of my life and get engaged! But it happened, and I wouldn't change it one bit. This is OUR life together, and the beauty of it is that we really have no idea what's going to happen next. If my family could just let go of their plans and expectations for me and see how wonderful this life could be just taking it one step at a time... this stress would dissipate quickly.

How does one prepare for a negative reaction, and if you get one how in the world do you handle it properly? I do not want to end up being rude to someone, and I do not want to feel as though I need to harden myself or be cold in order to deal with negativity from my closest family (especially my Mom).

mamatomany January 23rd, 2014 08:52 AM

Re: Got ultrasound, 15 weeks, so excited!! But what will the family say?
Congratulations, so exciting!! 15 week ultrasounds are so much fun, right? It's amazing to see the little arms and legs and just fall so in love with such a tiny person :).

Anyway, in really happy for you that your finance's family is so wonderful and supportive. It will definitely make it easier to get through the negativity from your side. There's no way you can force them to be excited for you right now or stop them from saying hurtful things. However, although they may not get excited about your pregnancy, they will totally fall in love with your baby. So give them time, let them have a chance to give up on their personal dreams for you and realize that you are living your dream and happy and successful. They will come around-- maybe not while you're still pregnant, but that sweet baby will melt their hearts.

Best wishes, keep us posted, and I encourage you to join a due date board here on just mommies-- it's a lot of fun to connect with other moms due the same time you are!

kkelley1226 January 23rd, 2014 12:02 PM

Re: Got ultrasound, 15 weeks, so excited!! But what will the family say?
Thank you!! I'd love to join the due date board, would be a great opportunity to talk about the experience and learn from other women where I am!

MommaOf2andBean January 31st, 2014 07:46 AM

Definitely join us in the July ddc, the ladies are awesome! I too had a surprise pregnancy, so I can totally relate to the anxiety. I already have children, but this was far from planned. Everything works out though.

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