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-   -   Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy) (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/2710705-being-viled-due-to-large-age-gap-unplanned-pregnancy.html)

Tariawen March 2nd, 2014 04:05 PM

Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
Hi all,
I have just found out I am 9 weeks pregnant with twins. I have had no symptoms. Now ex bf doesn't want to know. I am 36 and have twins from a previous unplanned pregnancy when I was 16. They are now adults aged 19 living independent lives. (one at uni, one in a different city)

Majority of my friends in mid to late 30s are married starting their families and all have dropped me from their network as they believe it is disgusting I am about to start again unfortunately as a single mum for the second time. They think it will cause emotional trauma on my adult children.

Its starting to get me down now. I am really such a bad person that "lightening has struck twice" Has anyone else been in this situation?

mamatomany March 2nd, 2014 04:18 PM

Re: Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
I do not understand at all why people are making an issue of this. In fact, at 36 you are in a great position to have children, much better than at 16. As to the effect on your adult children, I was 21 when my mom had my youngest sister, and I thought it was great fun. I don't see why it should cause any problems with your children-- that seems kind of silly to say.

Honestly, I think you are incredibly blessed to have yet another set of twins -- what fun! Ad I think it will be so much easier for you this time around as a mature and experienced mom-- so much less stress and more appreciation of the joy.

I think now is the time to surround yourself with some new friends who are less negative about your life right now. I would suggest seeking out some groups for moms with multiples. It's likely you'll find some other single moms your age. I also encourage you to join a due date board and the moms of multiples board here on just mommies. You'll find a lot of supportive ladies to share your experience and wisdom with.

Keep your chin up! You're amazing to have raised twins at such a young age and I'm excited. For you to be able to have another go at such a fun adventure!

momof8lopez March 2nd, 2014 10:35 PM

Re: Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
:ditto: Although my 3yr old was planned, my 2, 1 and 5mo. were not. I also am the mother to a 21yr old, 19yr old and 14 and 11. People, including the medical profession give me grief for my last 4 babys. Im 43yrs old, btw. Family just smiles and keeps their comments at bay, some friends do the same.

I raised wonderful, independent, strong young men who are now serving their country. I know I will do the same, if not better, with these last 4 baby's. Were experienced, strong women who have alot to offer our younger children, and they will have older, loving, strong and independent siblings to look up too. Keep your head up, your going to be amayzing this go around!!!

lemieuxcrew March 3rd, 2014 08:50 AM

Re: Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
Hmmm, Im not sure why friends would be disgusted with you?! 36 is a great age to have babies! And this one is TOTALLY unplanned for me. (That's how old I am.) :) Come join a DDC board if you want. Sept DCC has LOTS of twin mamas there!!!!

Findaupair May 19th, 2014 01:01 AM

Re: Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
Age doesn't matter. I'm glad you got pregnant now and don't need to worry because you're still young. You can do this. Don't get discouraged!

My2miracles May 29th, 2014 12:25 PM

Re: Being viled due to large age gap (unplanned pregnancy)
I had my 1st very planned (IVF) baby at 36 and my unplanned (but much wanted) baby at 40. I am now 48 and wouldn't change a thing. If your friends are disgusted by the fact that you are pregnant at 36 then they weren't your friends to begin with. Enjoy your babies and get new friends!

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