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lil_pickle January 6th, 2011 11:08 AM

In a pickle
New to board but need to vent or get this off my chest. Had my oldest when I was 18 (but married) and now she is 18 and pregnant! To make matters worse I found out one week after she told me that I was also pregnant! Both due in Feb '11. Couldn't stop laughing at first because I didn't want to cry in front of anyone. Now can't stop crying. She's a straight A student and never got into drugs or alcohol. Was set to leave for college with full scholarships and now doesn't want to pursue college for 'a while.' Boyfriend- (hs dropout whose only skill is playing video games) is sticking around but only works a job when 'the guy' calls him (so sporadically.) They are living with a relative of his but it is very bad conditions - I'm worried it will make the baby very sick once its here. Plus she isn't gaining much weight or eating much. We have tried to offer help but it is refused for one excuse or another. Boyfriend is very know it all and proud. They don't go anywhere unless they are together. We rarely see her and I'm worried I won't get to see the baby either. We have tried to appear very accepting and non-judgmental of both even though they do a lot of things that don't make sense but they still avoid us since we aren't giving them money. I feel guilty for buying things I need for my baby when I can't really buy much for her.

We had tried for years to have another so this should have been joyous but no one that knows what is going on is saying much of anything. I can't talk about it. I feel like we can't even be excited about our little one when we aren't excited for them.

I'm glad I could at least talk about it here.
Thanks for listening, sorry so long winded:(


sunshine411 January 6th, 2011 03:33 PM

Re: In a pickle
Hi there and welcome to JM.

While I haven't been in your situation per se, I understand your side and your daughter's side. I think the best think you can do is just be there with open arms when and if she needs you. Sounds like she probably will. It's a hard to admit your mistakes to your parents and it's hard to admit you need help. She may just need time to come around. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later and you will get to spend time with your new baby and your new grandbaby together.

I can tell you are feeling very worried and guilty. All completely normal feelings for what you are going through. It's ok to be happy for yourself tho. Remember that. I would look into the DDC here. They are pretty amazing and you might find some more help and perspective there.

Good luck and Congratulations on the big events ahead in your life!!!

in_mommy January 6th, 2011 08:27 PM

Re: In a pickle
(((HUGS))) Sorry your going through this :( Like the PP said, I can sort of see it on both sides. Just make sure that your daughter knows she can always come to you no matter to what. Maybe try to offer to babysit so she can do some of her classes. Try not to let this hang a dark cloud over your own baby's birth. We are here if you want to talk more. Check out the Feb. due date club and WELCOME to JM!

lil_pickle January 7th, 2011 05:55 AM

Re: In a pickle
Thanks for your kind words. It really means a lot. I remember when I was 18 and in the same situation, I wouldn't hear a word my mother said so I keep letting her know I am there for her. She is a great daughter and I know she will be a good mother.


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