As 5 years
is a milestone, I took this opportunity to read the online
journal that I kept during the experience. Perhaps it will
help others in their journeys to parenthood….
Part 1:
How the Journey Began
11-4-2000
Today
is my 41st birthday. And I’m finally about to become
a mother!
It’s
been a long, difficult "pregnancy". When my daughter
arrives, she’ll be 18 months old, and will have a lot
in her past to overcome. She’s currently living in an
orphanage in Karakastek, Kazakhstan and I leave Los Angeles
to bring her home on November 18! This is going to be a very
long two weeks.
I began
this adoption journey almost 18 months ago. It was last June
when I realized I was coming up on my 40th birthday, and decided
that I was no longer going to wait for the right man to come
along to help me have a child. I’ve always known that
I’d be a mother, and always believed it would happen
well before I turned 40!
So, that
night I got on the Internet and began researching international
adoption. Something led me in that direction. The idea of
a domestic adoption passed through my mind very quickly, as
I didn’t think a birth mother would choose a single,
40 year old woman as the new mother for her child when a "full
family" was easily available. Plus the problems inherent
in the US foster care system and adoption laws quickly made
me realize this was not the route I was meant to take.
My heritage
is Russian, so I began researching the plight of orphans in
the former Soviet Union, and found that there were over 600,000
children living in orphanages there. Though obviously not
an easy process, it was one I decided to embark upon.
I began
researching agencies and figuring out what paperwork I needed
to assemble on the journey to find my daughter. I found two
great resources on adopting a child from Eastern Europe the
first night I got on the Internet to start reading. FRUA,
Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption, at www.frua.org
and The Eastern European Adoption Coalition at www.eeadopt.org
From reading
these sites, I learned the first thing I needed to deal with
was the INS, and submit the I600A (Application for Advance
Processing of Orphan Petition) to get the all-important I-171H.
(I’ve learned the numbers for lots of official forms
in the past year!) This process can take 4-6 months, so it’s
the logical first step.
The second
step is the homestudy. This must be done by a licensed social
worker or adoption agency in your state. A homestudy is required
for any adoption—domestic or international—and
is also a time-consuming process. Mine consisted of four visits
with a social worker, including a visit to my home, during
which every aspect of my life was scrutinized. The outcome
is a six-page report stating that I’m approved for the
adoption of a child. This homestudy report becomes part of
the dossier that you must compile.
So, I
filed the I600A, got fingerprinted by the FBI (part of the
INS process), and got started on the homestudy (which includes
being fingerprinted by the local police department—no,
the FBI and police can’t use the same fingerprints…
that would make too much sense!), and tried to decide which
adoption agency to use.
I must
have sent away for 30 packages from various agencies, and
joined a bunch of internet mailing lists consisting of people
in various stages of international adoption to get as much
information as I could compile.
After
about a month, I finally decided to use a small agency based
in Cokeville, Wyoming, called Focus on Children. I chose them
because they are small, it’s family-run (two sisters
who both adopted children from Eastern Europe) by people who
are in it for the kids. Their fees are low, and they give
a lot of humanitarian aid to the regions that their children
come from, something I can’t say about a lot of the
bigger agencies out there.
I requested
a baby girl less than 12 months old, and was told the wait
would be 4-6 months for a referral after submitting my completed
dossier. So, the paper chase began!
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 1
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 2
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 3
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 4
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 5
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 6
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 7
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 8
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 9
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 10
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 11
Alison's
Journey Home: An Adoption Story - Part 12
About
The Author
Nicole
Sandler is the owner/producer of Legacy Video Productions,
specializing in producing adoption stories. You can see Alison's
Journey Home, the video at www.legacyvideoproductions.com.