Everyone
is Pregnant but me
How to cope with feelings of jealousy
"Guess
what?” Your friend says. Followed by thoughts in your
head of “please, oh please, don’t make me guess
and if you tell me you are pregnant I am going to bust into
tears”. “I’m pregnant!” she announces
before you can get that thought out of your head. You pretend
to be happy for her but the whole time she is talking you do
not hear a word she says. Inside you are falling apart. You
know you should be happy for her, she is your friend after all,
but you just can’t bring yourself to feel cheerful about
the situation.
It seems that when a woman
is trying to have a baby, this is the time that everyone else in her life gets
pregnant. It’s not fair. You’re right. And its okay for you to feel
angry, jealous, depressed, sick to your stomach, or whatever feelings you feel
when you hear an announcement of pregnancy. But is it productive for you to stay
upset, is it helping you to get pregnant faster, is it being the kind of friend
you want to be? Probably not. So how do you deal with these emotions? How can
you be a good friend to someone who is pregnant and keep your own sanity at the
same time?
Be a friend.
Treat her the way you would want to be treated.
Be honest.
Don’t be afraid to tell her how you are feeling. You might
be surprised to hear that she is worrying about you.
Be angry.
But don’t be angry with your friend. Try not to let this emotion cloud
your mind. Express your anger in healthy ways. Physical exercise and writing
are both good outlets for angry emotions.
Take care
of yourself. Are you eating well and sleeping well?
Are you taking care of your body and spirit? Spend some
time recuperating. Go to be early or take a long walk. Trying
to get pregnant can be stressful. Make sure you are taking
care of you.
Talk to
someone. Talk to a counselor, minister, or friend about how you are
feeling. Talking to someone can help you sort out your feelings.
Find a
support system. Find a support system. A support system does not
have to be a formal meeting, group therapy or anything like that. A support
system can be your mom, your sister, or a group of ladies you know from work.
Find like-minded friends that you can count on for support.
Write your
feelings down on paper. What will make
you feel better? Ask yourself this question “What
can I do to change the way I am feeling?”
You
can do nothing or you can write down some ways that you can change the way
you are feeling. What works for you? This is a very personal question so take
some time to evaluate your life and what you can do to be happy with your
present circumstances. Now might be the time to schedule an appointment with
your doctor to tell him or her your concerns about getting pregnant. Maybe
you have been wanting to get back into an exercise routine but have let trying
to get pregnant get in the way of this. Concentrate on what is right for you
when you answer this question. You may not feel better right away but this
exercise will help you to focus on changing the way you are feeling.
Do
something about it. Once you write down your plan
for how to change the way you are feeling, put it into practice.
Use what you write down as a plan of action and follow through
on it.
What To Do When You're Not Getting Pregnant
Let's face it, getting pregnant is not always as easy as it sounds. As many stories as you have heard about unplanned pregnancies, getting pregnant should be easy right?
