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The
Baby Blues
By
Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle
Baby Care
I
remember when I was lying in my hospital bed after the birth
of my fourth child, Coleton. I had endured a full day of labor
and a difficult delivery (who says the fourth one comes easily?),
and I was tired beyond explanation. After the relief of seeing
my precious new child came an uncontrollable feeling to close
my eyes and sleep. As my husband cradled newborn Coleton,
I drifted off; my parting thoughts were, “I can’t
do this. I don’t have the energy. How will I ever take
care of a baby?” Luckily for me, a few hours of sleep,
a supportive family, and lucky genes were all it took to feel
normal again. But as many as 80% of new mothers experience
a case of the baby blues that lasts for weeks after the birth
of their baby. This isn’t something new mothers can
control — there’s no place for blame. The most wonderful
and committed mothers, even experienced mothers of more than
one child, can get the baby blues.
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What
are baby blues?
Your
baby’s birth has set into motion great changes in your
body and in your life, and your emotions are reacting in a
normal way. Dramatic hormonal shifts occur when a body goes
from pregnant to not pregnant in a manner of minutes. Add
to this your new title (Mommy!) and the responsibilities that
go with it, and your blues are perfectly understandable. You’re
not alone; this emotional letdown during the first few weeks
is common after birth. Just remember that your state of mind
has a physical origin and is exacerbated by challenging circumstances
— and you and your body will adjust to both soon.
How
do I know if I have the baby blues?
Every
woman who experiences the baby blues (also called postpartum
blues) does so in a different way. The most common symptoms
include:
-
Anxiety and nervousness
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Sadness or feelings of loss
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Stress and tension
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Impatience or a short temper
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Bouts of crying or tearfulness
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Mood swings
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Difficulty concentrating
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Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
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Not wanting to get dressed, go out, or clean up the house
Could
it be more than just the baby blues?
If
you’re not sure whether you have the blues ask your
doctor or midwife, and don’t feel embarrassed: This
is a question that health care providers hear often and with
good reason. If you’re feeling these symptoms to a degree
that disrupts your normal level of function, if your baby
is more than a few weeks old, or if you have additional symptoms
— particularly feelings of resentment or rejection toward
your baby or even a temptation to harm him — you may have
more than the blues, you may have postpartum
depression. This is a serious illness that requires immediate
treatment. Please call a doctor or professional today. If
you can’t make the call, then please talk to your partner,
your mother or father, a sibling or friend and ask them to
arrange for help. Do this for yourself and for your baby.
If you can’t talk about it, hand this page it to someone
close to you. It’s that important. You do not have to
feel this way, and safe treatment is available, even if you’re
breastfeeding.
How
can I get rid of the blues?
While
typical baby blues are fairly brief and usually disappear
on their own, you can do a few things to help yourself feel
better and get through the next few emotional days or weeks:
- Give
yourself time. Grant yourself permission to take
the time you need to become a mother. Pregnancy lasts
nine months, the adoption process can take even longer,
and your baby’s actual birth is only a moment —
but becoming a mother takes time. Motherhood is an immense
responsibility. In my opinion, it is the most overwhelming,
meaningful, incredible, transforming experience of a lifetime.
No wonder it produces such emotional and physical change!
No other event of this magnitude would ever be taken lightly,
so don’t feel guilty for treating this time in your
life as the very big deal it is. Remind yourself that
it’s okay (and necessary) to focus on this new aspect
of your life and make it your number-one priority. Tending
to a newborn properly takes time — all the time in his
world. So, instead of feeling guilty or conflicted about
your new focus, put your heart into getting to know this
new little person. The world can wait for a few weeks.
Consider as objectively as you can just what you have
accomplished: You have formed a new, entire person inside
your own body and brought him forth; you have been party
to a miracle. Or, if you've adopted, you've chosen to
invite a miracle into your life and became an instant
mother. You deserve a break and some space in which to
just exist with your amazing little one, unfettered by
outside concerns.
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This
article is an excerpt from Gentle
Baby Care
by Elizabeth Pantley. (McGraw-Hill, 2003)
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