Barbie
holds the distinction of being the first doll to become an
adult figure in the child’s life, needing precious little
in the way of care taking from her child owner. She became
an icon, a role model, a figure to be emulated and revered,
transforming the child’s role of caretaker to one of
the passive bystander and observer of a creature who had made
it in life and had it all. She would ultimately become a representative
of our own culture. Mothers, as well as their daughters took
in Barbie’s messages about how shape and size matters
at the very brink of our society’s revolution for women
who were becoming liberated, entering the professions in greater
numbers, becoming divorced, participating in the sexual revolution,
blending families, and abandoning mealtimes and family rituals
in favor of work force and the work out. Barbie, along with
England’s Twiggy in the 60’s, led the way to create
what was to become the new standard of beauty in the female
figure.
If she
were alive, Barbie would be a woman standing 7 feet tall with
a waistline of 18 inches and a bustling of 38-40. In fact,
she would need to walk on all fours just to support her peculiar
proportions. Yet media advertising, television and Hollywood
would reinforce her message, influencing what would become
the American ideal of beauty. By the time a girl is 17 years
old, she has received over 250,000 such commercial messages
through the media. Body image disturbances, typically the
result of such exposure, are clearly dangerous to our youth
not just because their preoccupation precludes clarity of
thought, the ability to concentrate and learn, and attaining
the developmental milestones of childhood, but also because
they typically lead to the fear of being overweight, and therefore
to dieting and food restriction, to becoming malnourished
and/or excessively thin, and ultimately to the onset of clinical
eating disorders. Eating disorders are the most lethal of
all of the mental health disorders, killing or maiming 6-13%
of their victims, 87% of whom are under the age of 20.
Do Barbie and the media influence how young people think about
themselves?
Undoubtedly. Our kids are a generation that has been brought
up watching the emaciated stars of Hollywood and television
sitcoms. 65% of American youngsters have their own TV in their
bedroom, with unlimited access to view influences that are
less than healthy. Too many kids grow up believing that what
they see on the screen is what women and girls are supposed
to look like. And America is not alone. During the last decade,
a study by Dr. Anne Becker in the Fiji Islands showed that
when television first came to that part of the world airing
shows such as Melrose Park and 90210, there was to develop
an appreciable incidence of anorexia and bulimia among this
country’s women and girls, where before, the disease
had been virtually non-existent.
Statistics
have shown that 50% of ads in teen girl magazines and 56%
of TV commercials aimed at female viewers used beauty as a
product appeal. In a recent survey by Teen People magazine,
27% of girls affirmed that the media pressures them to have
a perfect body. 68% of girls in a study of Stanford undergraduates
and graduate students felt worse about their own appearance
after looking through women’s magazines. The number
one wish for girls 11 to 17 is to be thinner. Girls as young
as age 5 have expressed fears of getting fat. In a survey
of elementary school students, girls commented that they would
prefer to live through a nuclear holocaust, lose both of their
parents or get sick with cancer rather than be fat. 80% of
10 year olds have been on diets. Of these, less than twenty
percent are actually overweight. A 1984 study (Rodin, Silberstein
and Striegl-Moore found that children view good-looking peers
as smarter and friendlier than unattractive peers…and
assume them to be happier and more successful.
The Internet
too, has become a major source of influence for our young
women. Controversial pro-anorexic web sites proliferate throughout
the Internet, despite the campaign to have them removed from
the larger search engines. The pro-anorexic sites are places
which motivate and instruct viewers how to become the best
anorexics they can be. A number of my eating disorder patients
have admitted that these sites were the trigger or inspiration
for bad eating habits, bad attitudes, and body image concerns
to cross the line into clinical disease. Is every thin youngster
anorexic? No. Is every thin youngster who got to be that way
through dieting or restricting food a candidate to develop
anorexia? Yes.
Parents
do make a difference.
At the same time that our media is influencing our youth,
even more significantly, it is also influencing their parents.
In the end, little girls grow up to become women and mothers
of their own little girls. Many parents struggle with their
own dysfunctions around body image and eating. As role models
for their youngsters, even healthy normal women typically
experience body image distress today. 75% of normal women
think they are overweight. 90% of women overestimate their
body size, and 50% of American women are currently dieting.
Adults
are every bit as much victims of the pernicious messages sent
by the media as are their children. They are witness to fashion
models in our society being thinner than 98% of the American
public. One study found that 75 percent of women and 54 percent
of men are unhappy with their physical appearance and wish
their bodies were different. The diet industry in America
generates $33 billion annually. With the trendy diets that
go in and out of popularity so frequently in our culture,
myths and misconceptions about the benefits of diets and restrictive
eating abound. Increasingly, adult women admit to suffering
from unresolved eating disorders into their 30’s, 40’s,
and 50’s.With
women increasingly in the work force and/or at the health
club, only 50 percent of American families sit down together
at the dinner table these days. Kids are left to fend to themselves
when it comes to what, when, and how they eat. At the same
time, fast foods have become more available and affordable
with obesity on the rise, afflicting one out of three in the
U.S. today. Studies show that mothers with their own eating
disorders, body image conflicts and dysfunctional eating habits
have children who are more apt to suffer eating problems and
depression by the time they reach age five.
Prevention
and solutions start at home.
The good news, and the bad news, is that the most critical
messages our youngsters receive about their body image and
their self-worth comes not from the media, but from what they
see and hear AT HOME. As a psychotherapist specializing in
the treatment of eating disorders for the past 34 years, I
have treated literally hundreds of families dealing with eating
related and body image problems. Through my work with parents
and children, I have seen that parents who maintain healthy
attitudes about their own bodies, who model healthy eating
behaviors, and who provide nutritious food for their family,
preparing, serving, and sitting down to eat meals together
with children as frequently as is possible, virtually immunize
their child from developing eating problems. Healthy attitudes
and eating behaviors, along with healthy problem solving and
sound parent/child connections becomes the “vaccine.”
When children are raised to value themselves and the importance
of making a contribution to world they live in, when they
are taught to recognize feelings and are given permission
to express them freely and effectively in the interest of
solving problems, they will have no need or incentive to turn
to food to do this for them.
When kids
require information about healthy eating and body image, they
will find it using whatever source is most readily available.
Parents need to recognize the power of the example they set,
of what they do, and of who they are for their children. Nature
abhors a vacuum. If positive messages are not forthcoming
from the home, you can rest assured that your child will be
looking elsewhere for his or her answers, to peers and to
the media, to fill in the blanks. Forewarned is forearmed.
Eating disorders are not only curable in 80 percent of cases
that are detected early and treated effectively, but they
are clearly preventable.
What
Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Love Their Bodies
Body size
acceptance is not related to weight or actual body size, but
to self-esteem and emotional health. The true indicator of
a good body image is good self-esteem – not the ability
to fit into size 2 jeans.
In an
effort to foster self- and body-love, parents should:
- Minimize “diet” and weight talk, an activity
that may require parents to take a look at their own eating
and exercise rituals, attitudes, and preferences about
weight and size.
- Never
joke about, tease, or shame anyone because of her weight
or size.
- Raise
consciousness about the American cultural bias in favor
of excessive thinness. Help your child develop immunity
to the steady stream of media messages that distort her
perspective by countering destructive messages with reality
messages.
- Discourage
dieting and weight-loss fads. Instead, encourage a wellness
lifestyle. If your child wishes to lose weight, encourage
her to eat differently, not less.
- Don’t
equate thinness with happiness, self-satisfaction or self-actualization.
- Praise
your daughter for what she does, not for how she looks.
Do some of those things together with her in quality time.
- Give
your daughter a vision of a greater purpose in life that
extends beyond herself and her appearance, thereby encouraging
her to develop healthy interests and passions. Self-esteem
is drawn from productivity and contribution.
- Teach
your child that there is no such thing as an “ideal”
body. Beautiful bodies come in all sizes and shapes based
on each individual’s unique strands of DNA.
- Pay
attention to negative comments your child may make about
her shape. Even if they are irrational, be empathic, not
dismissive, as she feels her feelings deeply.
- Engage
your daughter in a discussion about how she thinks she
might look better and how she a changed appearance might
improve her life. How does she plan to accomplish these
goals?
Engage together in activities that promote accurate, realistic
and meaningful body awareness at more profound levels,
teaching her to recognize the connection between body
and mind.
- Encourage
your child to become aware of her feelings, to own and
express them in the interest of resolving problems rather
than harboring them in her body.
- Discourage
extreme or excessive behaviors of any sort, be they perfectionism,
sleeping too much, sleeping too little, shopping too much,
studying too little.
It is
important for parents to realize that in order for children
to feel attractive and good about themselves, they need to
learn to become effective problem-solvers, good communicators,
and compassionate people, as well as healthy eaters. As John
Muir once said, “When one tugs at a single thing in
nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”
About
the Author:
Abigail Natenshon, MA LCSW, GCFP is a psychotherapist who
has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders with
individuals and families for the past 36 years. Natenshon
is founder and director of Eating Disorder Specialists of
Illinois and is the author of When
Your Child Has An Eating Disorder: A Step-by-Step Workbook
for Parents and Other Caregivers
.
For free resources or to have Abigail speak at your next parental
or professional group go to www.empoweredparents.com
