10 Things You Should Never Say to Someone Who is Trying to Conceive

Just relax

Take a cleansing breath in and then just breathe all that stress out. Book yourself a trip to the closest spa because this will surely result in you getting a positive pregnancy test. Yes, this is likely the most annoying bit of advice anyone can give to you while trying to conceive. Yet, it never fails somebody in your circle of friends will most assuredly let you know that this is exactly what you should do if you are trying to conceive.

Quit trying so hard

When you’re done relaxing, make sure you check off any of your plans for having sex, especially if it involves sex around your calendar. Any planning of pregnancy is completely off limits. If you would just quit trying so hard, you would get pregnant.

It is God’s will

That’s right, God has different plans for you. He wants every couple but you to be pregnant. Do your friends even think about how this sounds before they say it? The words “meant to be” and “God’s will” sometimes get thrown around arbitrarily from well-meaning friends, but this can be one of the most insensitive things that someone can say to a couple that is trying to conceive.

When are you going to have a baby?

Newlyweds often get this question, “When are you going to have a baby?” And, couples with children often hear this as well, “When are you going to have a sister for Billy?” These aren’t the types of questions that people even realize are hurtful. However, just because a couple doesn’t announce to the world that they are trying to conceive, doesn’t mean they aren’t. In many cases, the people you think are too busy with their careers to have a baby actually aren’t and are struggling privately with infertility.

Let me tell you about my unplanned pregnancy

It never fails. When a woman is trying to conceive this is the time that every other woman she knows falls pregnant. It may be a little bit touchy to tell someone you are pregnant when your pregnancy was unplanned, but a little tact is all you need. It’s never okay to tell someone who is trying to conceive about how easily you get knocked up or how unhappy you are that you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

Have you thought about adoption?

Adoption is an option for couples who can’t have children on their own, as is IVF and other fertility treatments. Adoption, though, takes financial resources and isn’t something every couple wants to consider. Asking someone if they have considered adopting a baby may seem harmless, but this is a discussion you should only talk about with a couple trying to conceive if they initiate it. Even at that, be mindful of your words and how they could make the couple feel.

Why don’t you take my kids for the weekend?

That will make her rethink this whole having-a-baby plan. Of course, she wants your brats for the weekend. That will definitely make her think differently about having kids. This is usually said humorously, but what the person saying this doesn’t know is that couple’s who are trying to have a baby won’t appreciate the humor. Save this haha for couples who have kids and aren’t trying to conceive.

This is what my Aunt Sally did to get pregnant

You see Aunt Sally was trying to have kids for years and she finally went to a doctor and did this, that or another, and voila she has 4 kids now. Or better yet, let me tell you about how my husband and I conceived all of our 10 kids. Nobody wants to hear tips on getting pregnant when they are trying to conceive. If you do offer advice make sure it’s wanted.

You don’t need a fertility doctor

The choice to see a fertility specialist is usually a tough one. Many couples are scrutinized when they start receiving any sort of fertility treatment. People tend to think they are jumping the gun or just don’t really need treatment. Save your opinions on fertility treatments and offer support instead.

You have plenty of time

If you are a younger lady trying to conceive, you may hear this a lot, “What’s the rush? You have plenty of time.” What people don’t know is that there are medical conditions that make getting pregnant difficult and some of these conditions affect old and young alike. Never assume someone has plenty of time just because they are younger.